A few random late-summer thoughts

"Smile,

breathe,

and go slowly."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

It's been a delicious luxury to be able to take some time to be introspective this summer.  And I'm happy to say that some very important things have become clearer to me in the process.  

It wasn't until a few days ago, though, that I finally realized something that's been bothering me for many years.  I rarely see a horizon anymore.  It's a small thing, I know, but it turns out it's very important to me.  Here in the suburbs, where I've never felt really at home, I can see a few cars ahead.   I can see a few intersecting streets up the road, but I don't see a far-off horizon for months at a time.

    

Oh how I missed that!  And I didn't realize just how much I missed it.  Whenever I thought back on my trip to Germany earlier this year, I was also remembering the various plane rides fondly.  That was strange, because I've never really been that fond of flying.  But this time was different, and I couldn't put my finger on why.  When I was in the air this time, with only endless horizon and big glorious sky to look at, I could feel the joy welling up inside of me.

Then it hit me! Up there, I could finally really breathe deeply (yes, even in the stuffy airplane!) because I could finally SEE far, far beyond myself again.  It was an exhilaration I hadn't felt in years.

"Breath is the bridge

which connects life to consciousness,

which connects your body

to your thoughts."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

I was thinking about that last weekend again, and decided to take a drive into the Wisconsin countryside to see if I could find a far-off horizon.  I needed to find a panoramic view so I could feel that same wonderful feeling of freedom I had rediscovered on the plane. 

Since I didn't head toward the hilly part of the state, it was a bit of a challenge to find a really distant horizon, but I'm really happy with what I did see.  Stopping to take pictures along roads with no shoulders, with other cars are flying by, wasn't going to stop me, either.

In fact, it made me realize something else. You have all heard the phrase, "Grow where you're planted," right?  Well, I've never liked that phrase, because I honestly don't like where I've been planted these last 22 years.  But while I was driving around, looking at the fading wildflowers and the many cornfields, that phrase kept popping into my head.
     

For 22 years I've fought putting down deep roots where I am, and quite frankly it has hindered my growth in ways that have frustrated me for a long time.  But yesterday I finally realized that I CAN grow where I'm planted, and need only have the shallowest of roots here.  I can grow and still be ready to be transplanted as soon as the opportunity arises.  I don't need to wait to do all the things I've been wanting to do!

"Listen,

are you breathing just a little

and calling it a life?"

~ Mary Oliver

This might seem very obvious to you.  But I've been fighting some things so long, I couldn't see my own life clearly anymore.

 "Close both eyes

to see with the other eye."

~ Rumi

 

So my summer of silence has been time well spent, indeed.  

 

But time moves on, and in the mornings I can feel a refreshing touch of autumn creeping into the air more and more.  While on my drive last weekend, I also came a cross this ruin of a church, which I find utterly beautiful.  Another example of time moving on.  Closed doors, open windows, the beauty of imperfection.  More things to think about. 

I've taken a bit of a break from art, too, but now my fingers are itching to start some new projects.

 

 

"What art offers is space -

a certain breathing room for the spirit."

 ~ John Updike

 

I'll be blogging more regularly again in the future.  I do hope you'll stop by again!