One wild and precious life

 

Here are a few of the good things I've noticed in the last few days. 

I'm finding even more intriguing textures everywhere I look.

Everywhere.

Inside

and outside.

New transplants seem happy,

and I'm happy to let volunteers bloom wherever they'd like this year, too.

A little bit of old-fashioned color on the outside windowsill brightens any day.

I'm not really superstitious, but everytime I write about how Beau is doing, he seems to rebound a bit.  So here's another photo of our dear old man snoozing away, along with a nice little shot of Skitzi glaring at the camera.

I came across this wonderful Mary Oliver poem again today. 

Like all of her poems, it gets right to the heart of what's important. . .

The Summer Day

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

~  Mary Oliver

And here's Mary Oliver reading the poem herself.  I'm not a fan of much poetry, but I adore Mary Oliver, and she reads her own poetry better than anyone.

“Life becomes precious and more special to us 

when we look for the little everyday miracles 

and get excited about the privileges 

of simply being human.”

~ Tim Hansel

Luxuries and necessities

“Luxury is not a necessity to me, 

but beautiful and good things are.”

― Anaïs Nin

I've been thinking a lot lately while doing the many mindless and mundane everyday tasks of life.  Here in Wisconsin, we've had some very ugly times politically, and I've been trying to avoid as much of that as possible.  Silencing all that noise leaves a lot more room for thinking your own thoughts, and noticing the little things you've been overlooking in your own life.  It seems like a luxury sometimes to be silent and allow the mind to drift, but it's really a necessity, don't you think?

Today I happily rediscovered this antique embroidered cosmetic case which was a keepsake I received after my favorite aunt died when I was 11.  It's a little luxury item from another place and time that made me think about the luxuries and necessities in my life.

Just looking at some of my favorite spots makes me deeply happy these days, but I wouldn't call most of these things luxurious.  Comfortable and pleasing to look at, yes, but not luxurious by any means.

I adore this stained glass lamp,

and the many curls of Buddha's head.

A few small pinecones, and the clay turtle I made in high school.

Old and familiar little notes to myself that have kept me grounded for years.

And books!  I'd be lost without them.  In this household, books are definitely more of a necessity than a luxury, to be sure.

Outside, the poppies bloomed very early and did strange things.

The rose bush has never bloomed this profusely before.

While Spring and Summer are in a rush this year, I'm definitely making a conscious effort to slow myself down.

I've written several times before on this blog that I'm really trying to take the time to notice the world around me, and that's more true than ever.  Like when I saw what was left of this tree peony flower.  It only looked like this for a few hours, and I've always missed this stage of the withering flower before.  I think it's gorgeous, don't you?

In some ways, I think I've been following our sweet old Beau's lead as he slows down more and more each day.  We've been lucky with our mild Winter and early Spring.  That's made his life so much easier,.  And longer, too, I think.  But I know this will be his last Summer with us, and that makes each day more meaningful.

Taking the time to be silent and appreciate the little things is becoming a necessity to me, more and more.  I don't need luxurious things, just the simple things I love.

I haven't had much opportunity to make art, but I plan to change that again starting next week.  Finding the time and space to make art is a luxury right now, but it's a necessity too.  I'm much happier when I can be painting or drawing or creating in some way.

I found this on Tumblr today, and it expresses how I feel about art perfectly these days.

I Will Not Make Any More Boring Art, 1971

 John Baldessari

Authenticity

Crocuses
watercolor, watercolor pencils, Caran d'Ache
8x10
(SOLD)

This is how I've decided I wanted to paint crocuses this time. There are already many others who can paint them to look more authentic. But, I'm trying my best to be authentic to myself in all things these days, so this is how I paint crocuses. Today, anyway. These things can change quickly, when you're listening to your inner self.

I've been thinking about authenticity a great deal this last year or more, but the video I shared in the previous post has really had me thinking about it more than ever. So have all the lovely comments that the last post inspired. Thank you for sharing your ideas about introverts and extroverts and everything in between.

In this world, where everyone seems to want to label everyone else, and where the extremes and extremists get all the attention, I feel we need to be reminded that people and ideas are not only black or white, right or wrong, right or left. Just like no one who is truly mentally healthy can be only an introvert or only an extrovert. Fortunately the vast majority of us fall somewhere along a wonderful spectrum.

spectrum

We are all unique, with our own glorious combination of genes, and ideas, and influences that makes us who we are. I hope we can all start to celebrate who we really are along this spectrum of possibilities, by being as authentic as we can be.

“The privilege of a lifetime
is to become who you truly are.”
~ Carl Jung

Subtle changes

“My soul is impatient with itself,
as with a bothersome child;
its restlessness keeps growing
and is forever the same.
Everything interests me,
but nothing holds me.”
~ Fernando Pessoa

I've added a few more details to the stitching. Subtle changes which pull it together a bit, so that it could potentially stand alone, or work as part of a larger piece.


I'm ready to move on, for now. Although I'm not sure what I'll be doing next. Something different, or maybe just subtly different. I'm taking a bit of serious quiet time to try to figure out where I go from here.

“Without great solitude,
no serious work is possible.”
~ Pablo Picasso
(both quotes found on tumblr)

P.S. I'm also still working on getting my online "stuff" in order, so if I disappear from here or there, it will only be temporary. In case you don't know what I'm referring to, I explained it at the end of my last post. 'Til then!

Contrast

"No bird soars too high
if he soars with his own wings."
~ William Blake

The two flower petals have now become bird/petals. I love the texture of these stitches.


While I really like monochromatic art, I never seem content to create something myself without adding some stark contrasts. I love how the deep purple is making the yellow pop, and vice versa.

"Contrast warm to cool.
Make color sing,
ring like a bell.
Work from big to small."
~ Sergei Bongart

The dense scattering of the contrasting French knots, among the simpler seed stitches, back stitches, and running stitches is adding lovely texture, too.

I am learning a lot about my use of color by doing these stitches, things I never noticed before when I was painting or drawing. Stitching is so much slower and more deliberate, you notice how each stitch affects the appearance of the one next to it. It reminds me of the ripples our own actions cause, and how the simplest thing we do or say can impact someone else.

"Without contraries is no progression.
Attraction and repulsion,
reason and energy,
love and hate,
are necessary to human existence."
~ William Blake

And please note: I've been trying to do some online Spring cleaning. It turns out that I am too interested in too many things. Hahaha! As if that's even possible! On Blogger, I am following approximately 900 blogs. I can no longer use my Blogger dashboard to manage what I follow, since it can only handle up to 300 blogs. It's been causing me nothing but headaches to try to get this under control. I can't delete inactive blogs, blogs without a followers' widget, blogs that have totally changed focus, etc., etc. using my dashboard, until I get under that 300 point.

If I temporarily disappear from your followers list, don't worry. I'm following you another way until I can get this all taken care of, and so that I can access the dashboard again.

I've got the same situation with Facebook and tumblr, too. There is just too much interesting stuff out there on the web!

“...I have always lived on contrasts!
To me the only death is monotony.
Beware of monotony;
it's the mother of all the deadly sins.”
~ Edith Wharton

The good, the bad, and the ugly

 The good - I'm finding such joy in picking up the needle to stitch whenever I have a few moments!  "They" say not to stitch too much on muslin, since it puckers easily, but I'm finding the roughness of the stitched muslin very appealing.  Beginnings can be rough, after all.  When I began to stitch, I thought this would be a very simple piece, with very little stitching, but it's not turning out that way.  In fact, I think this is the beginning of something much larger, although I don't know what that is yet.

These two paintings sold recently!  I'm very grateful to all who were involved in the sale.




                                                                                               

The bad - We had to take our old Beau-doggy to the vet last week, after a pretty rough week for him.  It turns out that, in addition to the arthritis we knew he had, he also has dementia, cataracts, more bladder stones, possible epilepsy, and worst of all - a fairly large tumor on his spleen.

We have been through three surgeries with him, and he is no longer a candidate for surgery, so at this point we will never know if the tumor is cancer. It doesn't really matter anymore.  Thanks to daily doses of medication and pain pills, he is comfortable and still finding joyful moments in his day.  It's a daily vigil, though, to check his gums for signs of internal bleeding from the tumor.  We are taking it day-by-day.  Every day together is a blessing.  And when his time does come, we will work with our wonderful vet to make his final moments as comfortable as possible.

The ugly -  This part is something I really didn't want to write about, but it is finally time.  I have been blogging since October 2008, and for the most part it has been a real joy meeting people and forming genuine bonds with quite a few very special people.

However, four times during this period I have been the target of bullying, threats and criticism, if I did not do what someone wanted me to do, in the way they wanted me to do it.  And, frankly, I'm tired of it.  I have a life beyond what I share here, and that life is my priority.  I know most of you will obviously understand this, but apparently there are some who do not realize that they have no right to make any demands on me.

Enough said.  Onward, to better and more positive things!

"There are better things ahead

than any we left behind."

~ C.S. Lewis

Up and down, round and round. . .

(detail of muslin with acrylic paint, ink, wool, embroidery floss)

Up and down, round and round - that's a pretty good description of my life (and moods) lately.  Other than some creative cooking, I haven't had much opportunity to create lately.  Just a few stitches to start embellishing the piece of muslin that I've become obsessed with.  

(detail of muslin with acrylic paint, ink, Inktense pencils, embroidery floss)

Our old dog, Beau, now only eats if we entice him by hand-feeding him first.  Even this takes time and patience on our part, since he is slowly reverting back to the timid dog he was when we adopted him from the shelter.   He is slowly forgetting what he learned during his time with us.  He is forgetting that he learned to feel safe and confident and happy with us, and that the dog food in his bowl is his to enjoy.  It's sad to see him old and confused and in pain.  It's sad to know that our days with him are numbered.

Unfortunately, there's been very little time in my life lately to read and comment on blogs and elsewhere online, either.  But after next week, I think I'll have a bit more time again.

Thanks to all who commented on my last posts.  I may not get around to thanking you each personally, but I value all your comments more than you'll ever know.

In the mean time, I'm really loving this change from painting and drawing on paper and canvas, to stitching on muslin.  More changes are coming, too, I think, but I'll still find my way back to painting those portraits that I love.

I have a feeling this will be an interesting year, and I'm working my way into it slowly. 

"Take a breath,

take your time, 

spread your wings

and rise."

~ Counting Crows lyric

Aha

I had an "aha" moment today.  I've been feeling pressure to post something here to mark the end of the year, feeling pressure to make art just to have something to show here.  Holiday pressure.  Family pressure. Pressure.  Pressure. Pressure.  But I've also been thinking a lot about this quote I found on tumblr recently:

"The imagination should be allowed a certain amount of time to browse around."

~ Thomas Merton

So I've been taking the time to browse around.  And I keep looking at this SoulCollage I made several months ago:

I've been having this feeling that I'm on the verge of something, but what?  I couldn't figure it out.  Then today, thanks to a facebook post from my blogging friend Julie-ann Bowden, I finally had the the opportunity to watch a film that I've been meaning to see, a film that has deeply moved me.  I barely even started watching the film, when I had that amazing "aha" moment.   Now I finally *GET* it!

Thanks to the internet, we are all exposed to so many different ideas, but one that keeps nudging at me is the idea that humanity is approaching a shift in consciousness.  It's something I've been wanting to believe, but every time I get cut-off in traffic or hear the news about one more tragic event, I think, "No, humanity will never change."

Then today it struck me.  I've been looking at it all wrong.  Living in this gotta-have-it NOW society, I've been expecting (and wanting) a shift to happen quickly.  Overnight, if possible.  Well, that's not possible.

Out of nowhere, I remembered how my beloved Cologne Cathedral (which was a big part of my early life, when I lived in Germany with my Grandmother), was built over a period of 632 years. 632 years!  If it took that long to build a church, it certainly is going to take more than a day, a week, a year, or even a generation, for humanity to change.  Aha!

I can't tell you how much hope this gives me!  To realize that things will change over time.  Humanity will get it right.  Just because I won't live to see it, doesn't mean I should give up hope and not even try to be part of the change.  It is a gigantic task, after all.  But with the internet and modern communications, it shouldn't take 632 years.

You may have guessed by now that the film is "The Shift" with the wonderful and wise Dr. Wayne Dyer.

"Whatever your age,

you are only one thought away

from changing your life."

~ Wayne Dyer

The entire film is available to see for free, in 13 somewhat choppy segments, on YouTube.  Here are two segments (#7 and #8) that really spoke to me today:

Thanks to the internet and blogging, I have met some truly amazing people who have changed my life and made it much richer and better.  I am so grateful for that and for you.  Thank you, everyone who visits here, everyone who comments here, everyone who writes me e-mails and engages me in conversations I would never be fortunate enough to have in my "real" life.

So, watch "The Shift" if you're ready.  Find what makes you "sing" and do it.  Be the best you can be.

"Don't die with your music still in you."

~ Wayne Dyer

I look forward to continuing this amazing journey with you in 2012.  And I wish you a blessed holiday season.

xo

Ah, the details

As the natural world around me prepares itself for the long, cold winter ahead, I find myself focusing on the smallest details.  The muted colors.  The textures and shapes.

I'm fascinated with patterns.  The endless variations of circular and linear found in nature.

The many gorgeous differences between the end of an old, weathered log and the inner surface of  the trunk of a freshly cut tree.  So many textures, and the startling beauty of  the simple grays and browns.  Sometimes I wish I could make myself very small, so I could crawl around inside all the nooks and crannies.  I know I would find many more even smaller nooks and crannies. Smaller and smaller and smaller.

Ah, the pockmarked rust of a weathered wind chime.  I was told the symbols on the chime say "Peace" and I like to think that's true.  And that it will be possible in more parts of the world.

I'm working on two more landscapes that do not want to be traditional landscapes.  And that's OK, I'll let them guide me so they can be what they want to be.  It's good to be who you are supposed to be.

And I've been thinking a lot about this painting which I did a few years ago, which I called "Energy (1)" because I knew that some day there would be more.  I love the idea that everything is made up of energy, from the smallest seed, to all of humanity, to all the stars in the Universe.  Everything.  Everything is connected.   It's a comfort to me, to know this.

There is so much we do not know, and can't even imagine.  But I do know this.  More art will be coming soon.

"Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature.

And that is because,

in the last analysis,

we ourselves are part of the mystery

that we are trying to solve."

~ Max Planck

I adore Mary Nohl - part 2 (in which I must see this special house for myself)

Since the Mary Nohl House isn't located that far away from where I live, I couldn't sit still until I took a look at it for myself.
:0)

The house is protected by a tall vine-covered wire fence, but a friendly, smiling concrete face urged me to step closer.

The house is not open for viewing, since it's located on a quiet upscale dead-end street.  These signs are posted on the gate at the end of the driveway.

Two more happy faces flank the driveway.  This is the one on the right, which bears the name Nohl.

I was able to photograph through the gate to get a photo very similar to the one on the cover of the book (see previous post)!  I could have stood there for hours.  I didn't notice until I posted this photo here, that there is a light on in the right second story window.  The spirit of Mary, maybe?  If I were Mary, I'd like to stop back to visit once in a while, too

Here's a photo through the fence looking toward Lake Michigan.  The tall statue on the left is the one that I could see looking at me over the fence in the first photo.

And a closer look at the happy couple.  I noticed while I was looking at all these statues, that they all looked happy.  I like that.

Another parting glance at the house and the handsome blue-eyed dude with the pointy head.  It was a pleasure to meet you all in person!

Here's the view from just outside Mary's house looking toward the lake to the right

and to the left. . .  I'm going to take a little blogging break to read my book about Mary Nohl from cover to cover.  She's my new hero, and I know there is much I can learn from her.