One wild and precious life

 

Here are a few of the good things I've noticed in the last few days. 

I'm finding even more intriguing textures everywhere I look.

Everywhere.

Inside

and outside.

New transplants seem happy,

and I'm happy to let volunteers bloom wherever they'd like this year, too.

A little bit of old-fashioned color on the outside windowsill brightens any day.

I'm not really superstitious, but everytime I write about how Beau is doing, he seems to rebound a bit.  So here's another photo of our dear old man snoozing away, along with a nice little shot of Skitzi glaring at the camera.

I came across this wonderful Mary Oliver poem again today. 

Like all of her poems, it gets right to the heart of what's important. . .

The Summer Day

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

~  Mary Oliver

And here's Mary Oliver reading the poem herself.  I'm not a fan of much poetry, but I adore Mary Oliver, and she reads her own poetry better than anyone.

“Life becomes precious and more special to us 

when we look for the little everyday miracles 

and get excited about the privileges 

of simply being human.”

~ Tim Hansel

Luxuries and necessities

“Luxury is not a necessity to me, 

but beautiful and good things are.”

― Anaïs Nin

I've been thinking a lot lately while doing the many mindless and mundane everyday tasks of life.  Here in Wisconsin, we've had some very ugly times politically, and I've been trying to avoid as much of that as possible.  Silencing all that noise leaves a lot more room for thinking your own thoughts, and noticing the little things you've been overlooking in your own life.  It seems like a luxury sometimes to be silent and allow the mind to drift, but it's really a necessity, don't you think?

Today I happily rediscovered this antique embroidered cosmetic case which was a keepsake I received after my favorite aunt died when I was 11.  It's a little luxury item from another place and time that made me think about the luxuries and necessities in my life.

Just looking at some of my favorite spots makes me deeply happy these days, but I wouldn't call most of these things luxurious.  Comfortable and pleasing to look at, yes, but not luxurious by any means.

I adore this stained glass lamp,

and the many curls of Buddha's head.

A few small pinecones, and the clay turtle I made in high school.

Old and familiar little notes to myself that have kept me grounded for years.

And books!  I'd be lost without them.  In this household, books are definitely more of a necessity than a luxury, to be sure.

Outside, the poppies bloomed very early and did strange things.

The rose bush has never bloomed this profusely before.

While Spring and Summer are in a rush this year, I'm definitely making a conscious effort to slow myself down.

I've written several times before on this blog that I'm really trying to take the time to notice the world around me, and that's more true than ever.  Like when I saw what was left of this tree peony flower.  It only looked like this for a few hours, and I've always missed this stage of the withering flower before.  I think it's gorgeous, don't you?

In some ways, I think I've been following our sweet old Beau's lead as he slows down more and more each day.  We've been lucky with our mild Winter and early Spring.  That's made his life so much easier,.  And longer, too, I think.  But I know this will be his last Summer with us, and that makes each day more meaningful.

Taking the time to be silent and appreciate the little things is becoming a necessity to me, more and more.  I don't need luxurious things, just the simple things I love.

I haven't had much opportunity to make art, but I plan to change that again starting next week.  Finding the time and space to make art is a luxury right now, but it's a necessity too.  I'm much happier when I can be painting or drawing or creating in some way.

I found this on Tumblr today, and it expresses how I feel about art perfectly these days.

I Will Not Make Any More Boring Art, 1971

 John Baldessari

Past Present Future

St. Bartholomä
watercolor

Sometimes seeing who you were in the past helps you figure out who you want to be in the future.

Melk, Austria
watercolor

I came across these two little watercolor sketches this week. I painted them back when I was still afraid of the juicy power that watercolors can have. If you let watercolors have plenty of water, room to explore and the time to find their own way, that is.

They were on the first page of one of several little journals I've started and stopped over the years. A bad habit. I start with be best of intentions, and then over-think what the journal should be used for. I become overly-critical of myself, and then that's the end of that.

Finding that journal, and those two little paintings of places I had visited long, long ago, led me to look into my digital photo files. Just to see what else I'd forgotten about myself.

angel detail

I found special angels I painted for special people a few years ago. But instead of looking at the entire painting, I felt compelled to focus on details.

angel detail

Details I liked the most.

angel detail

Details as delicate angel wings.

Looking at who I was, and what I've accomplished in the past, has helped me focus on the details of what I want to do in the future.

angel detail

I want to keep making art, but take it more seriously. I want to create with my heart, and from my heart.

acrylic detail

I want to embrace color. Vibrant and happy color.

acrylic detail

And I want to allow myself to soar to new heights, with reckless abandon. To finally cast aside, for good, the barriers I always seem to set up for myself, and celebrate a new-found feeling of complete freedom.

This past week I also gathered together some little books to use as art journals, since I finally have a clear vision of what keeping a journal now could mean to me. There's a wonderful book, An Illustrated Life, by Danny Gregory, that I've been reading, too, which has shown me just how amazing keeping an art journal can be.

I finally get it. And, more importantly, I finally get me.

"Deep inside
I think drawing and writing
(will) help me remain whole
in a world
that feels so broken apart."
~Rick Beerhorst

(of Studio Beerhorst)
as quoted in An Illustrated Life

Weaving and letting the light in

Woven painted muslin with some random stitches

(work in progress)

I'm not quite sure where this is going, but I know I will be stitching on it some more. Right now I'm loving the rough edges.

And while I've been doing this bit of intuitive weaving and stitching, I've been allowing my mind to drift. A wonderful feeling! It's led me to think that this might be the perfect time for me to weave a new way of looking at life, as well. A new way of looking at the world and my art, and who knows what else?

This weaving and stitching is letting the light in, in more ways than one. . .

I'm also still enjoying meandering through blogland, visiting blogs, maybe even commenting, if I can find words. I'm not forcing the words to come out so much right now. And yes, our old Beau-doggy is still with us. He still has more good days than bad, although he is eating less and less, and sleeping more.

This weekend, I plan to visit this exhibit on contemporary Wisconsin textiles at the Museum of Wisconsin Art. If it's anything like their other exhibits, it will be fabulous.

Wishing you all a happy week!

Bouncing around

Clematis
watercolor, watercolor pencils, Caran d'Ache
8x10

Here's the last of the 5 watercolor flowers I've been working on. I should really call them water media paintings, since I'm not using only these lovely Windsor and Newton watercolors.


I've also been using Derwent watercolor pencils and Caran d'Ache watercolor crayons again, bouncing around between these three water media at whim. I've found that I really like to switch between painting and drawing to get the result I'm looking for.

(detail)

So now I'm ready to bounce over to something really different. A new idea is brewing, but I don't know exactly what form it will take yet.

Someone else who is bouncing around at times is our old dog Beau. (I wrote about all his health troubles a few posts ago.) Automatically giving him two pain pills a day is helping him quite a bit, but I still don't like the idea of an animal being constantly medicated. He's so smart, though. Because he can't count on his hind legs all the time, he has started to sometimes use them together, rather than one-at-a-time. So when he wants to run a few steps, he actually hops, or bounces, with his hind legs together until he gets his legs going the "right" way.

All I can say is that animals are amazing! Bouncing is working for our old Beau, getting him where he wants to go. Bouncing around seems to be working for me, too.

I'll also be bouncing around the internet in the next week or so, visiting all my favorite blogs. It's been too long since I've taken the time to do that, so I'm really looking forward to it.

"Change
is a bouncing ball
on the circumference of a circle."

~ Kin Hubbard

Authenticity

Crocuses
watercolor, watercolor pencils, Caran d'Ache
8x10
(SOLD)

This is how I've decided I wanted to paint crocuses this time. There are already many others who can paint them to look more authentic. But, I'm trying my best to be authentic to myself in all things these days, so this is how I paint crocuses. Today, anyway. These things can change quickly, when you're listening to your inner self.

I've been thinking about authenticity a great deal this last year or more, but the video I shared in the previous post has really had me thinking about it more than ever. So have all the lovely comments that the last post inspired. Thank you for sharing your ideas about introverts and extroverts and everything in between.

In this world, where everyone seems to want to label everyone else, and where the extremes and extremists get all the attention, I feel we need to be reminded that people and ideas are not only black or white, right or wrong, right or left. Just like no one who is truly mentally healthy can be only an introvert or only an extrovert. Fortunately the vast majority of us fall somewhere along a wonderful spectrum.

spectrum

We are all unique, with our own glorious combination of genes, and ideas, and influences that makes us who we are. I hope we can all start to celebrate who we really are along this spectrum of possibilities, by being as authentic as we can be.

“The privilege of a lifetime
is to become who you truly are.”
~ Carl Jung

Something new, a thank you, and a question

Bleeding Heart
watercolor and Caran d'Ache
8x10

Just a quick post to show you #3 in my new series of watercolor flower paintings.

I also wanted to thank you, all of you, who commented on the previous 2 posts. Thank you!

I always wonder how best to acknowledge all you lovely people who leave these nice comments, and I'm going to try something different. I noticed that blogs with the comments embedded underneath the posts now are able to reply to each comment individually, right underneath the comment! So I think I'll try that with this post.

Please let me know what you think about this. Do you return to blogs to see if anyone replied to your comment? Are you having problems leaving comments in this new format?

*** Update 3/10: Thanks for the comments! I'm changing the comment form back to the way I had it before. The popup window, without the reply buttons under each comment, seems to work best.

Time flies

Purple coneflower and Monarch butterfly
watercolor and ink
8x10

Another new flower painting, done in watercolor and ink. I used the photo below as a reference, and just noticed I took it in August of 2009. It seems like just a few months ago. . .

Contrast

"No bird soars too high
if he soars with his own wings."
~ William Blake

The two flower petals have now become bird/petals. I love the texture of these stitches.


While I really like monochromatic art, I never seem content to create something myself without adding some stark contrasts. I love how the deep purple is making the yellow pop, and vice versa.

"Contrast warm to cool.
Make color sing,
ring like a bell.
Work from big to small."
~ Sergei Bongart

The dense scattering of the contrasting French knots, among the simpler seed stitches, back stitches, and running stitches is adding lovely texture, too.

I am learning a lot about my use of color by doing these stitches, things I never noticed before when I was painting or drawing. Stitching is so much slower and more deliberate, you notice how each stitch affects the appearance of the one next to it. It reminds me of the ripples our own actions cause, and how the simplest thing we do or say can impact someone else.

"Without contraries is no progression.
Attraction and repulsion,
reason and energy,
love and hate,
are necessary to human existence."
~ William Blake

And please note: I've been trying to do some online Spring cleaning. It turns out that I am too interested in too many things. Hahaha! As if that's even possible! On Blogger, I am following approximately 900 blogs. I can no longer use my Blogger dashboard to manage what I follow, since it can only handle up to 300 blogs. It's been causing me nothing but headaches to try to get this under control. I can't delete inactive blogs, blogs without a followers' widget, blogs that have totally changed focus, etc., etc. using my dashboard, until I get under that 300 point.

If I temporarily disappear from your followers list, don't worry. I'm following you another way until I can get this all taken care of, and so that I can access the dashboard again.

I've got the same situation with Facebook and tumblr, too. There is just too much interesting stuff out there on the web!

“...I have always lived on contrasts!
To me the only death is monotony.
Beware of monotony;
it's the mother of all the deadly sins.”
~ Edith Wharton

Up and down, round and round. . .

(detail of muslin with acrylic paint, ink, wool, embroidery floss)

Up and down, round and round - that's a pretty good description of my life (and moods) lately.  Other than some creative cooking, I haven't had much opportunity to create lately.  Just a few stitches to start embellishing the piece of muslin that I've become obsessed with.  

(detail of muslin with acrylic paint, ink, Inktense pencils, embroidery floss)

Our old dog, Beau, now only eats if we entice him by hand-feeding him first.  Even this takes time and patience on our part, since he is slowly reverting back to the timid dog he was when we adopted him from the shelter.   He is slowly forgetting what he learned during his time with us.  He is forgetting that he learned to feel safe and confident and happy with us, and that the dog food in his bowl is his to enjoy.  It's sad to see him old and confused and in pain.  It's sad to know that our days with him are numbered.

Unfortunately, there's been very little time in my life lately to read and comment on blogs and elsewhere online, either.  But after next week, I think I'll have a bit more time again.

Thanks to all who commented on my last posts.  I may not get around to thanking you each personally, but I value all your comments more than you'll ever know.

In the mean time, I'm really loving this change from painting and drawing on paper and canvas, to stitching on muslin.  More changes are coming, too, I think, but I'll still find my way back to painting those portraits that I love.

I have a feeling this will be an interesting year, and I'm working my way into it slowly. 

"Take a breath,

take your time, 

spread your wings

and rise."

~ Counting Crows lyric

Begin

It's the first day of a new year- what a perfect day for new beginnings!

Not much has gone according to plan since I posted here last.  As a result, I've been keeping a low profile online.  And I'll continue to do so for a while.

Maybe I'll use this forced interruption as an opportunity to begin doing many things differently this year.  Beginning to do something differently can start as a whisper, after all.

(detail of ink and thread on painted muslin)

The important thing is to begin.

(detail of ink and Intense pencils on painted muslin)

And to simply be, sometimes. 

I've been slowly beginning to work on my muslin rags.  Letting them tell me what they want to be.

"Be willing to be a beginner

every single morning."

~ Meister Eckhart

Happy New Year, everyone!

xo

Aha

I had an "aha" moment today.  I've been feeling pressure to post something here to mark the end of the year, feeling pressure to make art just to have something to show here.  Holiday pressure.  Family pressure. Pressure.  Pressure. Pressure.  But I've also been thinking a lot about this quote I found on tumblr recently:

"The imagination should be allowed a certain amount of time to browse around."

~ Thomas Merton

So I've been taking the time to browse around.  And I keep looking at this SoulCollage I made several months ago:

I've been having this feeling that I'm on the verge of something, but what?  I couldn't figure it out.  Then today, thanks to a facebook post from my blogging friend Julie-ann Bowden, I finally had the the opportunity to watch a film that I've been meaning to see, a film that has deeply moved me.  I barely even started watching the film, when I had that amazing "aha" moment.   Now I finally *GET* it!

Thanks to the internet, we are all exposed to so many different ideas, but one that keeps nudging at me is the idea that humanity is approaching a shift in consciousness.  It's something I've been wanting to believe, but every time I get cut-off in traffic or hear the news about one more tragic event, I think, "No, humanity will never change."

Then today it struck me.  I've been looking at it all wrong.  Living in this gotta-have-it NOW society, I've been expecting (and wanting) a shift to happen quickly.  Overnight, if possible.  Well, that's not possible.

Out of nowhere, I remembered how my beloved Cologne Cathedral (which was a big part of my early life, when I lived in Germany with my Grandmother), was built over a period of 632 years. 632 years!  If it took that long to build a church, it certainly is going to take more than a day, a week, a year, or even a generation, for humanity to change.  Aha!

I can't tell you how much hope this gives me!  To realize that things will change over time.  Humanity will get it right.  Just because I won't live to see it, doesn't mean I should give up hope and not even try to be part of the change.  It is a gigantic task, after all.  But with the internet and modern communications, it shouldn't take 632 years.

You may have guessed by now that the film is "The Shift" with the wonderful and wise Dr. Wayne Dyer.

"Whatever your age,

you are only one thought away

from changing your life."

~ Wayne Dyer

The entire film is available to see for free, in 13 somewhat choppy segments, on YouTube.  Here are two segments (#7 and #8) that really spoke to me today:

Thanks to the internet and blogging, I have met some truly amazing people who have changed my life and made it much richer and better.  I am so grateful for that and for you.  Thank you, everyone who visits here, everyone who comments here, everyone who writes me e-mails and engages me in conversations I would never be fortunate enough to have in my "real" life.

So, watch "The Shift" if you're ready.  Find what makes you "sing" and do it.  Be the best you can be.

"Don't die with your music still in you."

~ Wayne Dyer

I look forward to continuing this amazing journey with you in 2012.  And I wish you a blessed holiday season.

xo