One wild and precious life

 

Here are a few of the good things I've noticed in the last few days. 

I'm finding even more intriguing textures everywhere I look.

Everywhere.

Inside

and outside.

New transplants seem happy,

and I'm happy to let volunteers bloom wherever they'd like this year, too.

A little bit of old-fashioned color on the outside windowsill brightens any day.

I'm not really superstitious, but everytime I write about how Beau is doing, he seems to rebound a bit.  So here's another photo of our dear old man snoozing away, along with a nice little shot of Skitzi glaring at the camera.

I came across this wonderful Mary Oliver poem again today. 

Like all of her poems, it gets right to the heart of what's important. . .

The Summer Day

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

~  Mary Oliver

And here's Mary Oliver reading the poem herself.  I'm not a fan of much poetry, but I adore Mary Oliver, and she reads her own poetry better than anyone.

“Life becomes precious and more special to us 

when we look for the little everyday miracles 

and get excited about the privileges 

of simply being human.”

~ Tim Hansel

Luxuries and necessities

“Luxury is not a necessity to me, 

but beautiful and good things are.”

― Anaïs Nin

I've been thinking a lot lately while doing the many mindless and mundane everyday tasks of life.  Here in Wisconsin, we've had some very ugly times politically, and I've been trying to avoid as much of that as possible.  Silencing all that noise leaves a lot more room for thinking your own thoughts, and noticing the little things you've been overlooking in your own life.  It seems like a luxury sometimes to be silent and allow the mind to drift, but it's really a necessity, don't you think?

Today I happily rediscovered this antique embroidered cosmetic case which was a keepsake I received after my favorite aunt died when I was 11.  It's a little luxury item from another place and time that made me think about the luxuries and necessities in my life.

Just looking at some of my favorite spots makes me deeply happy these days, but I wouldn't call most of these things luxurious.  Comfortable and pleasing to look at, yes, but not luxurious by any means.

I adore this stained glass lamp,

and the many curls of Buddha's head.

A few small pinecones, and the clay turtle I made in high school.

Old and familiar little notes to myself that have kept me grounded for years.

And books!  I'd be lost without them.  In this household, books are definitely more of a necessity than a luxury, to be sure.

Outside, the poppies bloomed very early and did strange things.

The rose bush has never bloomed this profusely before.

While Spring and Summer are in a rush this year, I'm definitely making a conscious effort to slow myself down.

I've written several times before on this blog that I'm really trying to take the time to notice the world around me, and that's more true than ever.  Like when I saw what was left of this tree peony flower.  It only looked like this for a few hours, and I've always missed this stage of the withering flower before.  I think it's gorgeous, don't you?

In some ways, I think I've been following our sweet old Beau's lead as he slows down more and more each day.  We've been lucky with our mild Winter and early Spring.  That's made his life so much easier,.  And longer, too, I think.  But I know this will be his last Summer with us, and that makes each day more meaningful.

Taking the time to be silent and appreciate the little things is becoming a necessity to me, more and more.  I don't need luxurious things, just the simple things I love.

I haven't had much opportunity to make art, but I plan to change that again starting next week.  Finding the time and space to make art is a luxury right now, but it's a necessity too.  I'm much happier when I can be painting or drawing or creating in some way.

I found this on Tumblr today, and it expresses how I feel about art perfectly these days.

I Will Not Make Any More Boring Art, 1971

 John Baldessari

Bluebird Fantasy

"Bluebird Fantasy"

textured acrylic 

on 8 x 10 gallery wrapped canvas

I was happily surprised to learn that this painting sold over the weekend.  Yay!  I painted it a few years ago when I was beginning to experiment with textures, and it will always be one of my favorites.

(detail)

I've left the photos big, so you can click on them to see everything up close.

(detail)

(detail)

I've always really liked how this flower turned out. :0)

Now that several paintings have sold I'll be creating some more items to sell, since wall space has opened up at the little cafe gallery that sells my work.  I like that!

Things are a bit hectic here right now, with my daughter graduating from college and getting ready for graduate school.  It's a wonderful feeling to be able to share these exciting times with her.

Our sweet old Beau-doggy is still with us, too, although last week we had a few days where we thought he'd be leaving us very soon.  We're just so glad that he's still here with us to enjoy another spring, dozing outside when weather permits.

I hope you all have a good week!  

The Art of a Life

I have a confession to make.  Until a few years ago, I thought most diaries and journals were essentially narcissistic and silly.  I thought my own few early attempts were, anyway. That could be because I was told often, by a person who was very important to me in my childhood, that I should just be quiet.  I shouldn't waste paper.   I had nothing important to say, and never would.

Words like that stay with you.

But, thankfully, I realize now that we all do have something worthwhile to say.  I realize now that journaling can be whatever you want and need it to be.  It's all OK.  When I started to realize that keeping journals might be perfect for me, too, after all, I started to research how people journal. And I have found some fabulous inspiration, but none as inspirational as Dan Eldon. Dan lived a full life of adventure and humanitarianism, creating some stunning journals along the way, until he was tragically killed at only 22.

There's a book about him called, The Journey is the Destination: The Journals of Dan Eldon, which was lovingly produced by his mother after his death.

Available on Amazon here

There is a foundation established in his name, Creative Visions Foundation, which carries on his work, combining creativity with activism in a way I've never seen before.

And there is this moving video, found on the foundation website, which was aired on CNN shortly after he died.



I don't know about you, but I am forever changed by learning about this amazing human being.

 "Find your own dance." 

~ Dan Eldon

 

A couple-two-three

dandelion stems 
(Wisconsin)

Usually when I hear that phrase, "a couple-two-three," I cringe.  But this morning, when the TV meteorologist (who says this regularly) said it during her weather forecast, I had to smile.  Because this Wisconsin phrase was going to be the perfect title for my post today.

I really do just have a couple-two-three little things to say today.

First, there are definitely some benefits to walking our old Beau-doggy these days.  He strolls so slowly, that I get plenty of time to look around me.  This morning I couldn't stop looking at what was left of all the dandelions (in the top photo).  We had some very powerful storms, with high winds and pounding rain, yesterday.  The dandelion seed puffs are all gone now, leaving behind these gorgeous stems.  They remind me of Edelweiss, the beautiful little Alpine flower.  Do you see it?

Alpine Edelweiss 
(Europe)

I also have had plenty of time to look at our pile of firewood, and noticed some more log ends which I find incredibly beautiful.  I love the different patterns of decay.

And the inside of the bark intrigues me as much as the outside these days, too.

aged bark, inside view

And, did you know that tomorrow's full moon is known as the supermoon?  That's because it will be closer to Earth than normal, and BIG.  You can read more about it here and here, or just do an internet search.

 supermoon

And finally, I've figured out part of the problem regarding lost blog comments on this blog.  With Blogger's new interface, some of the comments you leave here end up on my Blogger spam folder, and I haven't found out how to access them from the new Dashboard.  I am only able to find them using the old Dashboard configuration.  When I receive notification of a comment in an e-mail, I can click on "moderate comments" and then I'm able to see that there is something in my spam folder. I hope they fix this glitch soon.

So anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend and has at least a couple-two-three wonderful things come your way.

Why not?

Many years ago, before I started painting again, I met a very interesting older woman. She had jet-black hair and wore hot-pink sneakers. Of course I had to meet her! It turned out that she was an artist (of course!), and she invited me to her home to see her art and her studio. Looking back on this chance meeting all these years later, I finally realized something. I really think meeting her changed my life. Although it has taken me a few years to actually act on what she taught me.

She moved away, across the country, years ago. But I sometimes still think of her fabulous paintings and wall hangings, and of a phrase she used often while she was enthusiastically talking about making art, fully living her life, and learning new languages well into her 70s. Her favorite phrase was, "Why not?"

"Why not!"

I often seem to stand in my own way, rather than to boldly move forward in certain aspects of my life. Art is one of those aspects. The last few days, when I think about the different directions I'd like to go in artistically, I've been hearing this woman's voice say emphatically, "Why not?!"


Why not, indeed! Why not just go for it?! Finally show my colors and bloom where I'm planted.

Why not?!

So, I'm going to be *BOLDLY* experimenting with some new directions in art. I don't know how much I'll be showing here for a while, but I will be back with new art when I start to get an idea of where I'm heading.


In the mean time, I discovered this wonderful video today. The artist is Sarah Kiser, and her work just makes me happy.




She also has a website:
http://www.artbysarahkiser.com/

“The best way to know life
is to love many things”
~ Vincent van Gogh
found on Tumblr

Contrast

"No bird soars too high
if he soars with his own wings."
~ William Blake

The two flower petals have now become bird/petals. I love the texture of these stitches.


While I really like monochromatic art, I never seem content to create something myself without adding some stark contrasts. I love how the deep purple is making the yellow pop, and vice versa.

"Contrast warm to cool.
Make color sing,
ring like a bell.
Work from big to small."
~ Sergei Bongart

The dense scattering of the contrasting French knots, among the simpler seed stitches, back stitches, and running stitches is adding lovely texture, too.

I am learning a lot about my use of color by doing these stitches, things I never noticed before when I was painting or drawing. Stitching is so much slower and more deliberate, you notice how each stitch affects the appearance of the one next to it. It reminds me of the ripples our own actions cause, and how the simplest thing we do or say can impact someone else.

"Without contraries is no progression.
Attraction and repulsion,
reason and energy,
love and hate,
are necessary to human existence."
~ William Blake

And please note: I've been trying to do some online Spring cleaning. It turns out that I am too interested in too many things. Hahaha! As if that's even possible! On Blogger, I am following approximately 900 blogs. I can no longer use my Blogger dashboard to manage what I follow, since it can only handle up to 300 blogs. It's been causing me nothing but headaches to try to get this under control. I can't delete inactive blogs, blogs without a followers' widget, blogs that have totally changed focus, etc., etc. using my dashboard, until I get under that 300 point.

If I temporarily disappear from your followers list, don't worry. I'm following you another way until I can get this all taken care of, and so that I can access the dashboard again.

I've got the same situation with Facebook and tumblr, too. There is just too much interesting stuff out there on the web!

“...I have always lived on contrasts!
To me the only death is monotony.
Beware of monotony;
it's the mother of all the deadly sins.”
~ Edith Wharton

Back on track

I've begun to stitch beyond the muslin onto the recycled denim, and I love how it's all coming together.  Several people have referred to all of my recent stitching as a meditation, and it really is.

It's much easier to relax and be creative when I'm simply enjoying the process, rather than thinking about how I want the finished project to look.  I'm not even sure if this will ever become anything more than it already is.  Recycled cloth, paint and stitches.  It's enough for now.  It's helping me get back on track in a number of ways. 

Jacky mentioned in her comment on my past post, how some of the petal outlines reminded her of birds.  Yes. I see it too, and I like the idea of working some birds into this.

The lack of space to create, and to store what I've created, continues to challenge me.  But we all have challenges, this one just happens to be mine.  In the greater scheme of things, it's a small challenge.  Maybe it just means that I am not ready to work on the large canvases I want to work on.  This seems to be my time to focus on working on smaller canvases, on paper and on cloth.

That's not so bad.

Thank you all so much for your kind comments to my last posts.  Beau has had some much better days lately.  I have mixed feelings about medicating animals, but the addition of the daily pain pills seems to be helping him for now.  So we will take each good day with gratitude.

It feels great to be back on track with art, and blogging, and life in general.  It might be a different track, but a different track might be just what I need.

The good, the bad, and the ugly

 The good - I'm finding such joy in picking up the needle to stitch whenever I have a few moments!  "They" say not to stitch too much on muslin, since it puckers easily, but I'm finding the roughness of the stitched muslin very appealing.  Beginnings can be rough, after all.  When I began to stitch, I thought this would be a very simple piece, with very little stitching, but it's not turning out that way.  In fact, I think this is the beginning of something much larger, although I don't know what that is yet.

These two paintings sold recently!  I'm very grateful to all who were involved in the sale.




                                                                                               

The bad - We had to take our old Beau-doggy to the vet last week, after a pretty rough week for him.  It turns out that, in addition to the arthritis we knew he had, he also has dementia, cataracts, more bladder stones, possible epilepsy, and worst of all - a fairly large tumor on his spleen.

We have been through three surgeries with him, and he is no longer a candidate for surgery, so at this point we will never know if the tumor is cancer. It doesn't really matter anymore.  Thanks to daily doses of medication and pain pills, he is comfortable and still finding joyful moments in his day.  It's a daily vigil, though, to check his gums for signs of internal bleeding from the tumor.  We are taking it day-by-day.  Every day together is a blessing.  And when his time does come, we will work with our wonderful vet to make his final moments as comfortable as possible.

The ugly -  This part is something I really didn't want to write about, but it is finally time.  I have been blogging since October 2008, and for the most part it has been a real joy meeting people and forming genuine bonds with quite a few very special people.

However, four times during this period I have been the target of bullying, threats and criticism, if I did not do what someone wanted me to do, in the way they wanted me to do it.  And, frankly, I'm tired of it.  I have a life beyond what I share here, and that life is my priority.  I know most of you will obviously understand this, but apparently there are some who do not realize that they have no right to make any demands on me.

Enough said.  Onward, to better and more positive things!

"There are better things ahead

than any we left behind."

~ C.S. Lewis

Aha

I had an "aha" moment today.  I've been feeling pressure to post something here to mark the end of the year, feeling pressure to make art just to have something to show here.  Holiday pressure.  Family pressure. Pressure.  Pressure. Pressure.  But I've also been thinking a lot about this quote I found on tumblr recently:

"The imagination should be allowed a certain amount of time to browse around."

~ Thomas Merton

So I've been taking the time to browse around.  And I keep looking at this SoulCollage I made several months ago:

I've been having this feeling that I'm on the verge of something, but what?  I couldn't figure it out.  Then today, thanks to a facebook post from my blogging friend Julie-ann Bowden, I finally had the the opportunity to watch a film that I've been meaning to see, a film that has deeply moved me.  I barely even started watching the film, when I had that amazing "aha" moment.   Now I finally *GET* it!

Thanks to the internet, we are all exposed to so many different ideas, but one that keeps nudging at me is the idea that humanity is approaching a shift in consciousness.  It's something I've been wanting to believe, but every time I get cut-off in traffic or hear the news about one more tragic event, I think, "No, humanity will never change."

Then today it struck me.  I've been looking at it all wrong.  Living in this gotta-have-it NOW society, I've been expecting (and wanting) a shift to happen quickly.  Overnight, if possible.  Well, that's not possible.

Out of nowhere, I remembered how my beloved Cologne Cathedral (which was a big part of my early life, when I lived in Germany with my Grandmother), was built over a period of 632 years. 632 years!  If it took that long to build a church, it certainly is going to take more than a day, a week, a year, or even a generation, for humanity to change.  Aha!

I can't tell you how much hope this gives me!  To realize that things will change over time.  Humanity will get it right.  Just because I won't live to see it, doesn't mean I should give up hope and not even try to be part of the change.  It is a gigantic task, after all.  But with the internet and modern communications, it shouldn't take 632 years.

You may have guessed by now that the film is "The Shift" with the wonderful and wise Dr. Wayne Dyer.

"Whatever your age,

you are only one thought away

from changing your life."

~ Wayne Dyer

The entire film is available to see for free, in 13 somewhat choppy segments, on YouTube.  Here are two segments (#7 and #8) that really spoke to me today:

Thanks to the internet and blogging, I have met some truly amazing people who have changed my life and made it much richer and better.  I am so grateful for that and for you.  Thank you, everyone who visits here, everyone who comments here, everyone who writes me e-mails and engages me in conversations I would never be fortunate enough to have in my "real" life.

So, watch "The Shift" if you're ready.  Find what makes you "sing" and do it.  Be the best you can be.

"Don't die with your music still in you."

~ Wayne Dyer

I look forward to continuing this amazing journey with you in 2012.  And I wish you a blessed holiday season.

xo

Ah, the details

As the natural world around me prepares itself for the long, cold winter ahead, I find myself focusing on the smallest details.  The muted colors.  The textures and shapes.

I'm fascinated with patterns.  The endless variations of circular and linear found in nature.

The many gorgeous differences between the end of an old, weathered log and the inner surface of  the trunk of a freshly cut tree.  So many textures, and the startling beauty of  the simple grays and browns.  Sometimes I wish I could make myself very small, so I could crawl around inside all the nooks and crannies.  I know I would find many more even smaller nooks and crannies. Smaller and smaller and smaller.

Ah, the pockmarked rust of a weathered wind chime.  I was told the symbols on the chime say "Peace" and I like to think that's true.  And that it will be possible in more parts of the world.

I'm working on two more landscapes that do not want to be traditional landscapes.  And that's OK, I'll let them guide me so they can be what they want to be.  It's good to be who you are supposed to be.

And I've been thinking a lot about this painting which I did a few years ago, which I called "Energy (1)" because I knew that some day there would be more.  I love the idea that everything is made up of energy, from the smallest seed, to all of humanity, to all the stars in the Universe.  Everything.  Everything is connected.   It's a comfort to me, to know this.

There is so much we do not know, and can't even imagine.  But I do know this.  More art will be coming soon.

"Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature.

And that is because,

in the last analysis,

we ourselves are part of the mystery

that we are trying to solve."

~ Max Planck